Tales of Woe
John’s father is coming down the school corridor. Appearing anxious, he asks whether we can talk for a few minutes. He tells me that John has been taking piano lessons, but – he shakes his head and looks down at the floor – they aren’t going well. From years of hearing these stories, I have an idea of what’s coming next.
“What’s the problem?”
“Well, for one thing, it’s the practicing. He really hates to practice – It’s almost impossible to get him to do it. And now he’s saying he’s bored with the lessons themselves and doesn’t want to continue.”
“Was there a time when it was going well?”
“Yes, at the beginning John was so excited. He really wanted to learn the piano. He even got into the practicing for a couple of weeks, but then it started to fall apart. The teacher is disappointed with him and says he isn’t working up to his potential, and John thinks she’s too strict. Now Lynn and I are fighting with him about the practicing and frankly, I don’t see the point of continuing this way. But we want him to do something with music. Do you know of anything?”
Throughout my long teaching career I have heard many such tales of woe. Rarely does a month go by without someone coming to me for advice because his child’s music lessons are not working. It’s amazing how so many stories follow the same pattern! The child began lessons with enthusiasm, after awhile practicing became a battle, she got bored and the lessons were terminated or are about to be. The parents aren’t sure what happened, but they speculate: When the initial excitement wore off, the child lost interest. She was too undisciplined or lazy or busy with other things to practice. The teacher was too strict, demanding or dull. Her expectations were unrealistic or she didn’t relate well to the student.
People send their kids to music lessons because it seems like a good idea; certainly lots of parents do this for their children. What could possibly be wrong with a little musical enrichment? Isn't it a good thing? Unfortunately, the answer is: not necessarily.
While lessons work well for some students, far too many children who begin lessons with enthusiasm and hope lose interest after a period of time and say they want to quit. What began as an exciting and hopeful adventure turns into a battle of wills as the child becomes more and more resistant to practicing. Often, by the time lessons are terminated, the child has come to the sad conclusion that he is a musical failure, and this is the self-image that will stay with him for the rest of his life.
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